Thursday, August 21, 2014

Why Dylan Laugherty is better than…

Joey Tribiani – Dylan is a blond. Joey is not.  Dylan is a one-girl kind of guy. Joey has a different girl every night.  Did I mention, Dylan is a blonde?

Jack Dawson – Jack stole a girl from her fiancé. Dylan picks his up at the airport.  Jack dies. Dylan lives Happily Ever After!

Dr. McDreamy  With hair like that, McDreamy’s product budget has to be huge. Dylan has a personal hair stylist and silky soft wash and go hair.

THOR – Aliens want to fight Thor using mystical outer space weapons. Dylan’s biggest problem is fighting off his screechy ex-girlfriend.

Charlie Harper – Charlie gets drunk and tries to mail his pants to Inspected by Number 94. Dylan gets drunk and confessed his deepest, innermost secrets

Indiana Jones – Indiana Jones was named after a dog. Dylan was named after Bob Dylan.

The Terminator – The Terminator will “be right back.” Dylan just arrived and never plans to leave.

Rocky Balboa – Rocky fought Apollo Creed, Ivan Draggo, Clubber Lang, Mason Dixon and Tommy Gunn for sport. Dylan was a former FBI agent who fights the bad guys because it is the right thing to do.

Batman – Batman has a cool car with a weapon system, jet engine and strong armored body shield. Dylan has a pick-up truck with an air mattress.

Superman – Superman wears tights and a cape. Dylan wears Levis and boots. Yummy.

Ferris Bueller – Ferris lip synced to the Beatles and Wayne Newton. Dylan hums Bon Jovi songs. *sigh*

Freddie Kruger – Freddie was a knife fingered haunter of bad dreams. Dylan is classified as a dream guy in at least 3 states.

Frodo Baggins – Mr. Frodo had hairy feet and pointed ears. Dylan has ripped abs and kissable lips.

Marty McFly – Wears Calvin Klein underwear. Dylan has been known to go “commando.”

JR Ewing – Made his money in the oil fields. Dylan made his money in a gas station.

Magnum P.I. – Lived on an island in Hawaii. Dylan lives in Storybook Lake!

Yoda – Yoda is a Jedi master. Dylan is a kissing god and a clothing Houdini!

Macgyver – Mac could build a bomb with chewing gum, a paperclip and a light bulb. Dylan built an entire guest room with an air pump and a pick-up truck.

William Shakespeare – Shakespeare spoke Elizabethan. Dylan speaks with a sexy, slow southern drawl.

Captain Jack Sparrow – Captain Jack didn’t get the girl. Do I really need to draw that picture???

Santa Claus – Santa gives presents one day a year. Dylan is unwrappable 24/7 - 365!


               Al Bundy

               Any star of Jackass

                Russell Dunbar